Shocking News!

Recently, a study in Tampa revealed that during the recession, injuries to construction workers dropped by 60%. It was hailed as an “unforeseen benefit” of the recession.

To this shocking discovery, most would respond with a resounding “Duh.” Seeing as how construction ground to a near-complete halt during this period, it stands to reason the injuries associated with this profession would drop. It doesn’t take a study to figure that out. It’s a bit like saying instances of drowning are lower in the desert.

Here are some other shocking revelations:
Loud music is loud
If you turn it down, it gets quieter
If you play it backwards, it sounds weird
If you play it faster, it sounds funny
If you play it slower, it sounds heavier
If you chop it up and do all of the above to it, it gets surreal
If you don’t play it, you can’t hear it.

And of course, if you add it to picture, the picture gets way better (a completely unbiased opinion, coming from a production music library…)

Now all I need is a large government grant to study these very important issues.

-Captain Obvious, Scientifical Studier Extraordinaire